a funny thing just occurred to me: my life has been littered with girls named nicole (or the variant nikki). i believe my first crush was a girl named nicole, and even my first make out sesh (on katy macys trampoline in middle school) was with another girl named nicole. there's been other nicoles and nikkis along the way, but two firmly stick out in my mind...

first off, i just got off the phone earlier with nicole judd. some people from west palm may know her, or even remember her, but i havent talked to this girl in a good 6 years (at least). a few years back i tried to search for her on myspace, googled her, and even asked around about her, but my search was futile. that was until facebook suggested i be friends with her a week back. fucking A i almost shit a brick (pardon the language). this girl was my best friend back in high school. I remember spending like every waking moment with her: picking her up every morning before school, hanging out at school, going to work and then heading to her place for a few hours after work before calling it a night - and then doing it all over again the next day. We knew each other like the back of our hands, and we were there for each other when it really mattered. it was my teenage angst years (when i was trying to find myself and right before i started drinking heavily); and for her she was having constant problems with her family. at some point in my sophomore year she transfered schools and we lost that closeness. She was my date to the prom my junior year and during the summer before i left for college she spent a few nights with me at random places. and then one day she vanished. i had no idea where she disappeared to. it wasnt until maybe a year later that tamas surprised me for my birthday by bringing her up to orlando to see me. in retrospect i remember tearing up seeing her again, and just hugging her for minutes. we saw each other one more time in wpb about 6+ years ago and since then she was MIA again (she has this distinct way of disappearing on me). one thing i remember vividly is how beautiful she was. reminiscing and catching up on the phone call was nice, but in a way its tragic how our friendship (which at one time was the only thing worth anything to me) kinda ebbed and flowed over the years and eventually flopped. i hope this time around, she will actually hold to her word and keep in touch.

the other one i was referring to is Nikki DeMonte, currently the most amazing person in my life. i've known nikki for years now, i met her at a show around 6 years ago and since then i have been mesmerized by how amazing she is. seriously from the time we met she has been nothing but gracious, caring, and non stop fun. she is my best friend, knows me in and out - and vice versa. we had so much fun taking photos for hours and just goofing off, hanging out and just being nerds. and she was there for me and i was there for her during some tough times for both of us (this seems to be the trend). for the longest time we were inseparable, no matter if i had a girlfriend or she had a boyfriend we always did our thing and let no one come between us. well, somewhere along the way we had a falling out (i dont place blame but she birthed a kid, and i had a selfish broad) but three years later we found that spark again. nowadays i wish i was as much of a part of her life as i used to be but with everything that's going on in her life she just doesn't have the time (and i understand). i cant go a day without thinking about her. In my world, she means so much to me im just lucky to have any time at all. She's the most beautiful person i know inside and out, and has grown into such a wonderful young lady. in a time where i doubt a lot of things in my life, she has my heart. i sometimes wish i moved to PA instead of here, just so i could hang out with her like everyday. im a boy that still dreams...


this is all just a weird parallel that i realized today... nicole and nikki are both beautiful blondes that are/were my best friends, and two awesome ladies. for a better part of my life these two ladies have been my support, and in a way my better half. out of all the girls that have come in and out of my life these i feel will be two of the greatest :)