list of things i wish to accomplish by xmas of 2011
* to be completely debt free
* go skiing/snowboarding
* go hiking
* go rock climbing (indoor or outdoor)
* go fishing
* go skydiving
* go camping
* go hunting
* go river rafting
* experiment more with cooking (maybe take a class)
* start to get fit (some kind of healthy regiment)
* get CCW and get training (basic survival and real life situations)
* take basic first aid training
things i wish to purchase
* printer
* nice digital camera
* AR15
* new wardrobe
i can add to this as i think of more, but i think this is a good start...
Thursday, September 2, 2010
ups and downs, we all have them...
ups and downs. we all have them...
there are days here when i feel like so elated. like all i can do is smile. like this decision was exactly the breath of fresh air i needed. I can go exploring the new terrain, find interesting historical sights, or just beauties of nature. the weather is fantastic, the people im starting to meet make me enjoy myself, and every day it seems like something new.
then some days i feel alone. i miss seeing my cousins every weekend. i miss that feeling of familiarity. i miss being able to call someone up at any given time just to go watch the UFC fights, or just go out for a beer. i miss the friends and fond memories of florida. i miss having a girl to come home and cuddle up with. i miss love. i miss being loved.
i hate this feeling of having to prove this was the "right" decision. to myself. to everytone. to anyone. im constantly questioning "am i doing enough?" when i shouldnt be. i should just be enjoying every day that im alive and healthy. but i constantly feel like i should be doing more with my life, and that my youth is fleeting. the ability to live my life is on my doorstep but im too afraid to let it in.
when i hear this song its almost like its speaking directly at me...
ANOTHER BREATH - "walls without windows"
I'm at the threshold between chapters of my life deciding the price of turning the page. How much more? How much time? Trying in figure out what I stand to leave behind. Trying to figure out what I hope to gain. I need to make it on my own. Sometimes I get thinking about moving on. Taking one last glance behind me then walking away. But how could I face myself if at twenty-three I just let go, said good-bye to the best days of my life. i get so hung up on the feeling of staring at the sunshine in the side-view just thinking how we have it all. We took it all. Yeah we take everything.This world is ours We could embrace it or we could torch it just to watch it burn. We've raced the sun. We've fought the ocean. Outrun the law on our drives toward tomorrows that were faced never with doubts, but with anticipation. "I closed my eyes. In that moment I tried to imprint on my brain what it feels like to be young. To be young and have nothing else matter." Nothing else matters. But I can feel this slipping away and I want to hold on with all of my strength. Youth his an opportunity. Take advantage before it's gone
there are days here when i feel like so elated. like all i can do is smile. like this decision was exactly the breath of fresh air i needed. I can go exploring the new terrain, find interesting historical sights, or just beauties of nature. the weather is fantastic, the people im starting to meet make me enjoy myself, and every day it seems like something new.
then some days i feel alone. i miss seeing my cousins every weekend. i miss that feeling of familiarity. i miss being able to call someone up at any given time just to go watch the UFC fights, or just go out for a beer. i miss the friends and fond memories of florida. i miss having a girl to come home and cuddle up with. i miss love. i miss being loved.
i hate this feeling of having to prove this was the "right" decision. to myself. to everytone. to anyone. im constantly questioning "am i doing enough?" when i shouldnt be. i should just be enjoying every day that im alive and healthy. but i constantly feel like i should be doing more with my life, and that my youth is fleeting. the ability to live my life is on my doorstep but im too afraid to let it in.
when i hear this song its almost like its speaking directly at me...
ANOTHER BREATH - "walls without windows"
I'm at the threshold between chapters of my life deciding the price of turning the page. How much more? How much time? Trying in figure out what I stand to leave behind. Trying to figure out what I hope to gain. I need to make it on my own. Sometimes I get thinking about moving on. Taking one last glance behind me then walking away. But how could I face myself if at twenty-three I just let go, said good-bye to the best days of my life. i get so hung up on the feeling of staring at the sunshine in the side-view just thinking how we have it all. We took it all. Yeah we take everything.This world is ours We could embrace it or we could torch it just to watch it burn. We've raced the sun. We've fought the ocean. Outrun the law on our drives toward tomorrows that were faced never with doubts, but with anticipation. "I closed my eyes. In that moment I tried to imprint on my brain what it feels like to be young. To be young and have nothing else matter." Nothing else matters. But I can feel this slipping away and I want to hold on with all of my strength. Youth his an opportunity. Take advantage before it's gone
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